no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
