I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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