just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
