when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize