Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
