it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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