there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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