Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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