cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
