In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
