Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cut my penus on the lid.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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