I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
