i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
