Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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