the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
