she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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