god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
