my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
