Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
