you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just high enough for therapy.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
