Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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