We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize