I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize