the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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