kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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