I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
