Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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