Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
