I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
