it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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