What a fucking waste of an outfit
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Naked Twister starts at high noon
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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