yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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