Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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