Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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