Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
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Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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