Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
