she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
