even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she pinky promised me she was 18
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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