Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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