Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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