Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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