Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
