trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
