so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
