take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
