you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
