Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
