So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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