so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
