so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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