Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I understand Curling. That high.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
