not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize