im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
