I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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