kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
