Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
