Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
